While in pursuit of your goals, have you ever experienced a situation in your life that was so emotionally challenging, you thought to yourself, “How am I ever going to get through this?”
That’s exactly what happened to me.
“To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.” – Tony Dorsett
Some years ago I found myself on top of the world when I met the man of my dreams, the love of my life. Fairy tales do exist and I feel blessed to have had the experience of living one.
Jim and I shared a one of a kind relationship. We felt blessed to have found one another. Each day grew better than the next. We were best friends, and there was no better fit for each of us.
Well as they say, the best-laid plans sometimes don’t materialize. We both enjoyed good health, rarely if ever sick. We remained very active, ate well, and were non-smokers. We made sure we had regular medical check ups, so it would seem that all bases were properly covered. Sadly, not so.
Jim hadn’t felt well for a short time. This was out of the ordinary for him. So, I suggested he go to the doctor. A few investigative appointments with medical tests followed.
One Friday shortly thereafter, we learned that he had a rare type of cancer, usually prevalent in younger people and rarely growing in soft tissue. The diagnosis was devastating.
Without question, my first statement to the love of my life was we would do whatever he so chose. We could fight hard, or just enjoy whatever time we had left together.
There were only ten precious months from date of diagnosis to death. It was a real roller coaster ride.
I stayed with Jim at the hospital day and night, only leaving his side a few times a week for a quick run to clear my mind. In the wee hours of the morning on Sunday before his death, Jim said he needed to talk. This was a conversation nobody wants to have or hear.
He shared with me that he would like to die and move on to the next part of his journey. To say I was in shock would be putting it mildly, but I had given him my word.
We began calling family and friends. He spent that Sunday saying his goodbyes to them.
Tragically, my treasured life partner and best friend died around 7:00PM the following day.
After his death, I faced even more insurmountable challenges.
I had to start from ground zero when I resumed my business. I was left with a six-figure debt, and a promise to repay everyone. I intended to keep this promise, but it required some major changes in my lifestyle.
A feeling of loneliness, sadness, fatigue, fear, incapability, lack of self-confidence, self-image and self-esteem began to grow and take over my world. I lost myself for a bit of time, but I quickly realized that I could not continue down that path.
So what steps did I take to reengage with life? None at first. I wondered if I might just wallow in self-pity. I then became the world’s best procrastinator, not having had much time to grieve and not really being in touch with reality. I felt like “it’s ok, everything will be ok.”
Then reality set in, like mortgage payments, back taxes, education expenses, living expenses, and rebuilding my business. I sat down and put together a plan that I thought could take me from my quite undesirable financial situation to the light at the end of the tunnel.
I realized I was in control of my own results, my happiness, my health and every aspect of my daily life, no matter what the circumstances.
I again became the owner of my every day.
Through tenacity, a belief in myself, and the will to face struggles with a positive attitude – inspired by my late husband — I have not only come out as a survivor, but also as a winner. I learned plenty of lessons the hard way, but today I am a wonderfully, happy, healthy, successful businesswoman with a tremendous life ahead of me. All of this has made me stronger.
When everything in my life was falling apart and there were seemingly no tangible signs of hope, I did leverage one handy tool in particular which I had learned to use from my now-friend and mentor Bob Proctor: A goal card.
A goal card with a powerful statement on it was something I could hold in the palm of my hand to feel connected with my desired outcome: To live a full, happy life; to honor my husband; and to use my experiences to help others face their own challenges and go after their own dreams. To play a game stretching far beyond myself.
As my husband and mentors reminded me, we need something inspiring to hold on to. A goal card makes this something “real”. I’m so happy and grateful to now have the opportunity to pass on this wisdom and remind you.
Don’t under-estimate the power of the simple things in life. I suggest you create your own goal card right now. Let it represent the wind beneath your wings on your journey like it did mine.
Always remember: The heart sees what’s invisible to the eyes.
May Barnes
May Barnes is the creator of The GOLD GOAL CARD http://maybarnes.com/store a Certified Master Success Coach, as well as a passionate Thinking Into Results Consultant.
Click here to find out how to define your Gold Goal to change your life http://maybarnes.com/store
